Frantic
After some deep consultation with Chery (she wasn't home when I started leaving IMs. She told me I literally got up to 93 messages. I was freaking out a bit.), I've pledged to try not to panic.
Chery's motto for my situation is:
Don't freak out and ruin it!!
Easier said than done.
Married Dude is now offically Engaged Dude.
He was my trainer today. Did you ever get that feeling like, "This is a BAD idea. Yay!" That's how I felt when I said, "Who's training me today?" and he said, "I am."
Stomach drop. Heart in my throat.
WEIRD.
I also met his fiancee and found out that I'm going on a store opening with her on Friday. This is my luck.
Chery (who is very good at making me not freak out) made me think about it this way:
I'm NOT doing anything wrong. I haven't done anything. It hasn't surpassed flirting, and how he deals with the fiancee is not up to me. It isn't my responsibility.
In my freak-out's defense (like it's a person or something.), I have never been told before that I'm the most unique person someone has ever met. Or that I'm fascinating. Or amazing.
Chery also told me to forget every other peripheral circumstance involved (that I work with his fiancee, that I work with him, that he is my trainer, that I live in the US and he lives in Canada... Etc.) and asked me if I was just happy to have someone giving me a little attention or if maybe I actually kind of liked him.
I can honestly say that I liked him before I really knew much about him. He is really charismatic and has a lot of personality. For the first time in a long time, I don't really care that much what he looks like. I mean, he's pretty cute. But mainly, I love the fact that he is interested in my personality.
He said I was amazing.
Doesn't that mean something? Shouldn't it?
She said that the main thing that she picked up on (that I told her about) is that I always noticed him looking in my direction and following me with his eyes. And I think the example she used is, "You don't do that to your friends. You don't think hey, I'm just gonna watch my friend walk across the room to make sure they don't trip and fall and hurt themselves." Everytime I turn in his direction, he is looking at me. That's good right?
Unfortunately, there are extenuating circumstances, so it just isn't possible to just drop everything and say "THIS IS IT!" And also, I am the biggest commitment-phobe there is and I'm really good at ruining my chances before it even starts. There is a lot working against me.
But I'm NOT GONNA FREAK OUT AND RUIN IT.
Oy.
Chery's motto for my situation is:
Don't freak out and ruin it!!
Easier said than done.
Married Dude is now offically Engaged Dude.
He was my trainer today. Did you ever get that feeling like, "This is a BAD idea. Yay!" That's how I felt when I said, "Who's training me today?" and he said, "I am."
Stomach drop. Heart in my throat.
WEIRD.
I also met his fiancee and found out that I'm going on a store opening with her on Friday. This is my luck.
Chery (who is very good at making me not freak out) made me think about it this way:
I'm NOT doing anything wrong. I haven't done anything. It hasn't surpassed flirting, and how he deals with the fiancee is not up to me. It isn't my responsibility.
In my freak-out's defense (like it's a person or something.), I have never been told before that I'm the most unique person someone has ever met. Or that I'm fascinating. Or amazing.
Chery also told me to forget every other peripheral circumstance involved (that I work with his fiancee, that I work with him, that he is my trainer, that I live in the US and he lives in Canada... Etc.) and asked me if I was just happy to have someone giving me a little attention or if maybe I actually kind of liked him.
I can honestly say that I liked him before I really knew much about him. He is really charismatic and has a lot of personality. For the first time in a long time, I don't really care that much what he looks like. I mean, he's pretty cute. But mainly, I love the fact that he is interested in my personality.
He said I was amazing.
Doesn't that mean something? Shouldn't it?
She said that the main thing that she picked up on (that I told her about) is that I always noticed him looking in my direction and following me with his eyes. And I think the example she used is, "You don't do that to your friends. You don't think hey, I'm just gonna watch my friend walk across the room to make sure they don't trip and fall and hurt themselves." Everytime I turn in his direction, he is looking at me. That's good right?
Unfortunately, there are extenuating circumstances, so it just isn't possible to just drop everything and say "THIS IS IT!" And also, I am the biggest commitment-phobe there is and I'm really good at ruining my chances before it even starts. There is a lot working against me.
But I'm NOT GONNA FREAK OUT AND RUIN IT.
Oy.
posted by Kally Hanifin at 2:09:00 AM
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